Play

Secret Lives: Playing for Real

TJ Callan, assistant director of peer programs at AU’s Center for Well-Being

By

Photo­graphy by
Jeff Watts

TJ Callan playing flag football at Rock Creek Park

I discovered my passion for football at Ronald Reagan High School in Doral, Florida. My first year, I was scrawny, but I started blowing up lifting weights. I was captain of both the football and track teams.

I honed my skills with good coaches—and because I wanted to get better. I went to football practice, then I worked with personal trainers. That’s how I locked in and prepared for the next level. I played running back at the University of Miami. They had a great program—it felt magical. 

But I also experienced a lot of negativity. I felt like I could never really be myself and spent a lot of time and energy combating homophobia. My senior year, I left the team; I was devastated. Football was my entire [identity]. I thought, “Now what?” When I graduated, I spoke with OutSports about my experience as a queer athlete.

Eventually, I found my community again in flag football. Israel Gutierrez, formerly of ESPN, and his partner reached out to me after reading the story and [encouraged] me to join their queer-friendly league in South Florida. When they held their draft party for the next season, somebody saying it must be nice for me to finally be who I am in a sport. I started sobbing. I’d finally found a space where I could do what I love without worrying about how people perceive me. 

When I moved to DC in fall 2023, I transferred to the DC Gay Flag Football League. I play in the recreation league every Sunday in Rock Creek Park. I’m also on DC’s Open Division A travel team in the National Gay Flag Football League, which includes a number of former college players. I travel to three to four national tournaments a year; I also played in the Gay Bowl in San Diego last fall.

Through football, I’ve learned that I have an undying competitive spirit. I love the game; it challenges me physically and mentally. In college, I was quiet and reserved. Now, I joke and sing and dance on the field. I never did that before because I didn’t feel safe. I’m now that authentic person I probably needed [to see] back then, living openly and joyfully.